The thought of a child – even adult child – tormented by substance abuse or locked away beyond reach and control, is a parent’s nightmare, particularly when played out on a national stage and in the dark edges of social media. So given the emotionally charged nature of the LiLo experience, it would be easy to assume that America’s parents are offering unvarnished perspectives about LiLo’s downward spiral and asking pointed questions.

But, if you listen in on the chatter and tweets of America’s Millennials, the “kids” born after 1980, you’ll find it’s LiLo’s contemporaries who are asking hard questions and tackling topics of coping mechanisms, parental engagement and judgment.  Millennials represent at least a quarter of the US population so in terms of sheer numbers, their opinion counts.

While being tethered to their peers through technology, Millennials actually like their parents and choose to spend time with them. Which is a good thing since the Great Recession has sent many of them boomeranging back into their parents homes. Appreciative and accustomed to the uber-support of a parent, it makes sense that it is the Millennials questioning the family structure of the embattled star and belly-gazing at their own definition of accountability and entitlement.

This week, The Today Show aired a segment about mothers who feel penalized in the workplace for having a family. The story focused on a mother who was terminated from her job as a result of an absence necessitated by a sick child. While that particular case was harsh, it underscores an interesting generation-based behavioral shift that is transforming America’s workforce.

GenX and Millennial mothers show great adeptness in their ability to customize a career and work style that best suits their family situation. They seem to grasp a concept that Baby Boomer moms struggled with – you can have it all but in bite-size pieces. Younger moms are neither apologetic nor guilt-ridden when taking time from their job to be with their children. They broadcast an enviable confidence and transparency in the expectation that employers will embrace their determined family-work balance. They embrace a lifestyle that allows them to create a day where time with children, friends and work is intertwined. Finishing a report at 11pm? E-mails at 6am? These women are the Energizer bunnies of the decade.

Is it that these young women saw first-hand the casualties their Baby Boomer mothers experienced in their attempts to have it all? Do they feel regret for their moms who felt they had no choice but to climb a rigid career ladder? Is there a twinge of resentment for a nation of latch-key kids? If nothing else, this segment underscores the lessons that parents can learn from the generations that come before and after that might ultimately help better integrate our working lives and family lives.

In a world where everyone is clamoring to be seen/heard over the competition, what can we as markets learn from this hilarious lady’s unorthodox resurgence in popularity?

Being different is good

Often there is no clear starting point to success and certainly Betty White’s recent fame is no exception. But whether it was her witty performance in the movie “The Proposal” or her contribution as a smack-talking football player in the Snickers commercial that sparked it, one thing is for sure: Betty White stands out. She may say things that are shocking, she may do things that are surprising, but that’s part of what makes her so unique.

While shock value may not build brand loyalty in the marketing world, being unique is a must. Be true to your brand and find a way to emphasize what about it is special. Be open to new ideas, even seemingly crazy ones, and welcome being different. Besides, sometimes to stand out you have to take some risks.

Never underestimate the power of social media and groundswell support

Sure media placements are great, but the future of marketing and branding has changed hands. Gone are the days when reporters and news anchors were our sole sources of information and people turned to the pages of magazines for the latest styles and trends. Today everyone has their own network and anyone can be a thought leader thanks to Twitter, Facebook and YouTube.

Several weeks ago Betty White hosted SNL in response to the support of thousands on Facebook. Granted, she did not initiate the attention, but it is a great example of the power of social media—a power that no marketer should neglect to harness.

Keep things fresh and keep them relevant

Betty White may be approaching 90. She may not fit the typical celebrity criteria—young, fit, perhaps in trouble with the law and possibly somehow involved with one of the cast members of the Twilight series—but even among the Hollywood starlets, Betty White is an icon (and can still deliver a punch line like a pro).

Like people and careers, brands change. Sometimes they face crises and sometimes they ride the wave of success. With flexibility, adaptation and some fresh ideas, even tried and true brands that have slipped under the radar can regain popularity and remain relevant with the changing times.

And, of course, one of the greatest lessons we can all take from Betty: don’t take yourself too seriously.

Haystack client Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta recently won a PRSA Phoenix award in the Internal Video Programs: Corporate/Organization Feature category for its What Not to Healthcare video. Haystack helped prepare the winning entry for Children’s and played an integral role in promoting the video to internal audiences.

Children’s created the video to bolster communication around its largest electronic medical records (EMR) implementation to date, which impacted more departments than any previous EMR launch. Since each department was impacted differently based on its role, the Internal Communications team created What Not to Healthcare to help leaders engage their staff in a meaningful discussion about the impact of upcoming implementation and address concerns. Based on the cable network TLC’s hit series What Not to Wear, the video provides a humorous snapshot of how the EMR launch affects staff and how to prepare.

Haystack developed communication materials encouraging managers and directors to show the video during staff meetings and discuss the upcoming implementation. The team also  reached employees who hadn’t yet seen it through an article on Children’s intranet. The article contained a quiz asking specific questions about topics covered in the video to help evaluate comprehension of the subject matter and capture the number of employees who viewed the video online.

Children’s received the Phoenix award because of the video’s engaging content and the robust communication efforts encouraging employees to view and learn from it.

Many people I’ve spoken with lately are frustrated by their employers. Although they are happy to have a job, they feel that management is no longer talking to them. There are a lot of budget cuts, but not a lot of explanations about short or long-term plans. Employees are faced with, “you’re lucky you still have a job,” if they ask questions.

Yes, employee retention is high, but at what cost? Many employees are nervous about the future, which makes for an unengaged workforce who resent their employers for making them uncomfortable.

When times get better—and they will—these employees will remember how they’ve been treated during the bad times, and if it wasn’t good, they’ll leave as soon as they can update their resumes.

However, there are still some employers that are doing the right things, like having inexpensive Popsicle parties to celebrate an important week or sending out companywide communication when important legislation passes.

As a leader in your organization what can you do to keep your employees engaged during uncertain times?

•  Communicate in-person — I know it sounds simple, but now is not the time for closed door conversations. Establish regular in-person meetings with your team on a weekly basis. If they can’t be in-person due to proximity, do it by conference call or have an e-mail status update with room for questions and answers. Daily huddles are a great way to energize your team members and provide news.

• Tell the truth and tell your employees first — When you communicate, tell what you know and what you don’t. Don’t hide behind jargon or shiny, happy memos. Employees should not find out important news about the organization, good or bad, in the local paper.

•  Make the rounds — Visit with your employees. Ask them what projects they are working on. Ask if they need anything for their workspace. It’s amazing how little time leadership spends away from the executive floor.

• Acknowledge your team members — Write simple thank you notes or sing the praise of your teammates in front of their peers. Recognition doesn’t have to be expensive. Also, set up ways for team members to acknowledge each other with silly stickers, a passed-around stuffed animal or whatever they brainstorm works for them.

•  Keep it fun. Life is serious right now, but we spend too many hours of the day at work for it to be miserable. Host American Idol talent contests, plan a luau lunch, volunteer for a good cause together.

Of course, if you don’t do the steps above, the frivolity seems false and forced. As the Venus Flytraps show us, what seems attractive at first can get sticky if you’re not in the right environment.

News of recent proposed changes to the Federal Trade Commission’s Consumer Product Testimonial and Endorsement Rules has moms across the blogosphere in a panic. A case of ‘be careful what you ask for,’ the FTC is potentially raising the accountability bar for bloggers who endorse or recommend products or services. At their essence, the new rules, if adopted, would mandate that bloggers disclose any financial relationship between an advertiser and themselves AND both the blogger and the advertiser will both be held liable for any false or unsubstantiated claims regarding results of products or services.

The ripple effect for these proposed rule changes have been far-reaching. Moms have been core product and service recommenders since before the earth cooled. We all know the car pool effect, right? Enterprising mom bloggers who are capitalizing on the “she told two friends” communication chain would be scrutinized for every online product recommendation they make.

What does this mean to brands who’ve smartly tapped the firepower of mom bloggers? Certain extinction of online product reviews isn’t likely, but the IRL (In Real Life) recommenders will be even more highly sought after. So go ahead gals, keep talking amongst yourselves and the rest of us will continue to listen.

ABC’s new “parent-com”, In the Motherhood, is being billed as a reflection of the experiences of real life moms. The first installment combined authentic depictions with just enough uber-drama to alienate a substantial number of hopeful Mom viewers (based on the blogs, posts, comments and critiques). What started as a great idea morphed into an end-product that is just enough off the mark to really miss its mark. This show is about 18 months too late. Too few truly entertaining moments, too many overly dramatized scenes and too much real –life depiction is a disastrous cocktail in this case.

 In our experience, and based on interviews with moms who were part of our panels, today’s moms have turned inward toward home and family. They have no room or time in their lives for cynicism; the struggles of getting through each day with less time, less money and fewer resources begets enough negativity. They don’t need more from a key network. She is looking inward and counting her blessings in a way we haven’t seen in some time; she doesn’t want to be mocked for absolute affection and attention on her family. Is she yearning for re-runs of Little House on the Prairie? No. But she does want to be uplifted, not brought down.

So, this seems like an opportune time to revisit the Five Things You Know About the American Mother But May Have Forgotten to Remember (this list was first introduced in go! Magazine, Air Tran’s inflight, last year.)

1. Today’s moms (especially in a contracted economy) have an entrepreneurial spirit that is amplified with each generation. She has an increasing amount of risk tolerance to find her way in the non-corporate business world and is confident in being her own boss. The unprecedented economic shift downward has fueled the desire and the need for her to unleash her creativity and drive.

2. She has amazing influence over product design – even those products that clearly speak to the needs of moms but may not be top of mind as mom-friendly – like pay at the pump self serve petrol stations. Never underestimate how she can insinuate herself in new products or brand extensions. She’ll find her way in if she’s not invited so you’re better off having her be part of the development process at the onset.

3. She performs at a high level and is adept at productivity. Many, though, struggle with delegation believing no one can do it as well as she can so she does it herself. This can be limiting for her and she is eager for opportunities to practice this much-needed discipline.

4. She embraces technology and uses it to help her perform at this enviably high level. She also uses it to escape, stay connected and protect her family. If you consider social networking a technology, then moms are using assets like Facebook and Twitter to communicate, confirm, connect and create. For marketers, never underestimate the lightning fast speed at which she can offer support and positive endorsement for your brand or publicly flog you.  Ask McNeil Consumer Healthcare, makers of Motrin, about their experiences with mothers on Twitter. Bloggers and tweeters – over the course of a weekend – forced the pharma giant to remove what they felt was an offending ad off the website and ultimately from magazines.

5. She can be overly indulgent of the needs of family, friends and community – sometimes to her own detriment. By nature she is a caregiver and will put her needs at the end of the list until she breaks.

But based on discussions with women who are part of Haystack Group’s consumer panels, I’ve been detecting a subtle yet palpable shift in attitudes. Not confident in labeling this a wholesale shift towards consumer optimism and clearly not close to heralding the return of consumer confidence, I turned to our social science roots for a way to describe this need for controlled optimism.

I encountered a term called Defensive Pessimism, coined by Julie K. Norem, PhD, a professor of psychology at Wellesley College and author of The Positive Power of Negative Thinking (2001). Basically, about 35 percent of Americans use a form of negative thinking that allows them to prepare for situations by establishing low expectations. Defensive Pessimists devise and follow a detailed roadmap of everything that could go wrong. By creating a comprehensive range of bad outcomes, they achieve a certain sense of control because they know how to handle any of the situations.

Perhaps the consumers we’re talking with are part of the Defensive Pessimists crowd. Or perhaps — having hit rock bottom in this historical economic meltdown - they are just sick and tired of feeling psychologically morose and will create a sense of optimism when given the slightest opportunity. Or, perhaps they understand that - at some point - this too shall pass. Regardless, Gallup is detecting something similar. In a March 20 report, Gallup Poll released data that suggests 27 percent of Americans report the economy is getting better. While a dismal number at best, it marks the highest economic optimism reading Gallup has recorded since daily tracking began in January 2008, and, according to Gallup’s monthly economic readings prior to that, the highest since July 2007.

A coincidence with positive headlines about the start of a sustained rebound in the Dow?

Launching a blog reminds me of the new T-Mobile commercial featuring the grumpy husband with a serious aversion to commitment (in spite of being married for decades and having multiple bulldogs all named ‘Steve’). Likewise, The Haystack Group has been counseling clients for nearly a decade, and yet we’re only now launching a blog. So like the grumpy husband perhaps we have been concerned with the kind of commitment it takes to offer up opinions, ideas and theories with the kind of frequency that make blogs worthy of being read.

We’re skipping the step where you put your toe in the water and instead jumping in to the deep end of the blogosphere with today’s inaugural posting and a promise to post regularly.

If you’ve found this blog you’ve most likely wandered through The Haystack Group’s new web site. Welcome! The gestational period for this endeavor has been longer than, well you get the picture. We’ve spent a lot of time belly-gazing and critically analyzing who we are, what we do and what we’re most proud of. For those who don’t know us (and even those who do), we got our start on the account planning and research end of the pendulum, then swung back to center to what we are today: a full-service strategic communications firm with a bent toward keeping our clients’ consumers and customers in full view. We’ve put our money where our marketing is, investing significant human and capital resources into the ongoing research and analysis of consumer behavior. You’ll find the results of this effort in the client case studies section of the web site, as well as in a white paper that details the results of a recent nationwide listening tour.

As testament to our evolution we even changed our logo to celebrate a focus on “the needle” instead of “the haystack” (a signature ‘h’ is gone for those who are just learning about us).

We look forward to your feedback, comments and questions and invite you to join the day’s conversation. And of course, we love having company so do drop in when you’re in the neighborhood.

Salut!